WORKING OUT

Hey everyone...

Yes, I'm choosing to talk about the dreaded work out... Why is it that when we were younger we loved the idea.. It was so great to have gym membership.. Now as we get older and body parts start hurting more, it's more of a chore than something fun... I know that we have to go to the gym to maintain our great health and try to fit into the clothes that we have in the closet... lol.. but seriously, I can't seem to get the get up and go to attend regularly... I also tend to fight within myself in this eternal battle of "how fat" I look... I know we all go through it... It's an never ending battle... Sometimes, I feel that it's a battle that I am never gonna win so why kill myself in the process... I used to go and ride bike.. But now it's so hot and muggy that the only time to go riding is at the crack of dawn.. Nope not for me...

I had the idea of maybe going to one of those modeling agencies and asking them if I could model for the "regular" woman.. Not the uber skinny one... The one who is a size 12-14 and had hips and thighs and doesn't look like she's hungry... I really want to do that but I guess that I'm scared of them telling me NO that I'm not what they are looking for... What do I have to loose?? I need to find an agency... Well I guess that I need the money to make one of those photo cards so that I can give them...lol.. That way, I wouldn't have to do the gym and work out... Love it...

As I walked into the gym this morning.. Yes this morning.. I was already upset so I might as well go and relieve some stress... I noticed that the age group that was there was more my style.. It was the "older" crowd.. Yes.. the ones that are there just to maintain like me... woohoo... No competition, just straight work out and watching T.V, and the best part we all look like crap.. It's 7:30am!!!.. Could I ask for anything else!!! How great was that... I decided to switch it up today and ride the bike.. I usually do the elliptical but today wasn't in the mood for the skiing adventure... lol.. then I did some crunches and called it a morning... I wished that the water was warmer and I would of gone in the pool for a light swim.. Just to do something different.

Well, hopefully this gym thing will get easier.. I mean it would be better if I had someone to go with.. But in my case, flying solo is how it's gonna be...

Have a great rest of the day.... Huggs and Kisses...

MAKING DECISIONS

   Why is it that making decisions is so difficult?? Why are we stuck on being scared of making one?? If we are at a crossroads, and a decision has to be made why can't we just take a leap of faith and make one?? I have come to the conclusion that many decisions in life are hard to make because we are scared of making the wrong one.. I have seen it in my personal life.. I'm tasked with making the right decisions regarding employment... Which one should i choose?? Which one has the best benefits?? Will I be happy in a cubicle for 8 or more hours?? Do I rather be surrounded by people and helping them rather than sitting with no social interaction at all?? These and other questions are the ones that surround us when making a decision.. I get sick at the fact that if I pick one over the other, did  I made the right choice!!

   We make a  list of the positive and negatives and weigh everything out.. But sometimes it's overwhelming..  You pray about it, ask God to give you a sign that you can actually see and help you make the right decision.. But still, you sit there wondering what to do!! I truly believe that it's all in being scared.. I will attest that I am truly scared of taking one because i heard of the great money opportunity that it has.. When I have an offer for another one that the money is ok but it lacks on other benefits.. Is making the money more important than my happiness at work?? If I make less but will be happier is that the right answer?? So it all comes down to making a decision.. Why can't there be a crystal ball that will give me the answer?? We all know what we want in life and the goals that we have put down to achieve. Now the question is how are we going to achieve them??? This crossroads is not easy... It's even harder when you are the breadwinner of the family and any and all decisions fall on your shoulders.. If I make the wrong one, not only I will be unhappy but my family won't be able to have their needs met... It's a hard decision.. One that I wish I myself could answer... 

   When we are little we read about books that the characters in them saw their future... Sometimes, I wonder what is my future going to be like?? Would I want to see what my future is going to be like so that I can make the right decisions in my present?? Would seeing my future make me happy or sad?? All these questions... I do know one thing.. I don't live with regret.. I would like a DO-OVER...lol.. There are a lot of things that I would do-over if I had the chance...

   I wonder how many out there are living with the difficulty of making the right decision.. Or the right decision for us... In the end, we are the makers of our own destiny.. If we don't take chances then our life is just boring.. But if we take a chance and it doesn't come out like we planned are we going to be ok with it and move on to the next, or live with the eternal thoughts of what if..... 

HELPING OTHERS

I tend to fall under this category at all times... HELPING OTHERS... Is it wrong?? Am I not supposed to help others?? Why am I always the one being hurt by it?? When should I stop?? Why do I feel like I was only put on this earth to help others and almost never have anyone helping me?? Am I ever going to stop helping others when I know that in the end I'm the one going to get hurt??
I ask myself these questions all the time... I never have had an answer to them... Why do I feel like I'm the only one that can help, assist, open my house to, be there etc etc??? I've gone to a place in my head where I'm tired of being the "only one" that can always be there for everyone.. I tend to shut down and not say anything to anyone and just keep all my feeling and emotions inside...   It's hard to go through life not having a lot and always being there for everyone!! When you finally come to grips with the issues, you realize that all this time you're the only one being there and no one is there for you!!  You have no one that you can speak to or share how you feel.. It's very lonely.. Especially, when no one else realizes all that you have done and continue doing.. To the bitter end... I've been told by many that "bitches" always get what they want!! Too bad that I haven't learned how to be one yet!!! Maybe that's why I don't have all that I want... At least I know one thing.. That at night when I go to sleep, I know that I have done my best and that I have "treated my neighbor the same way that I want to be treated"... I know that I need to stop being so nice and doing everything.. What happens to the fact that you can't!! You are this way because you were made this way...  I do wonder, how many people are going through this same thing right now?

I'm leaving this one open as a topic of discussion... Am I wrong for always wanting to be that extension that always helps?? Even though I'm going through really tough times, I'm there for others... Is it wrong?? Great to hear what others think and what you have to say....