The New Business Venture

As some of you may know by now, I have started selling candles... Not only are they pretty, but they smell great, burn clean and most of all brighten up the room... There are several cool offers going on now and I wanted to share them with you... If you need to know which scent you like or you haven't really smelled any.. I'm here to help you... I have a scent black box that is full of all the wonderful scents... I'm sure I can assist you in getting the ones that you like...

Also, don't forget... Online, you can purchase the candle votives for half off.. It's getting two for the price of one.. So look into it... These make awesome gifts.....

Visit my website at:  www.partylite.biz/sites/infiniteilly
or visit my facebook page:  www.facebook.com/InfitniteCandles

Have a great upcoming New Year..... Happy 2013!!!!!!

2013 Here we COME!!!

Merry Christmas to all my peeps.... 

This upcoming New Year is going to be full of new great things... First and foremost I will be starting a new job.. After 6 years with the Police Department, I was offered an "upgrade"... So, being who I am I've decided to take it.. So YES 2013 will be in a new job, new atmosphere and full of new possibilities...

 I've also started another new endeavor (as if I don't have enough to do as it is)... I've started a Partylite Business.. Why not!!! I love candles and the way that they smell, make a room light up, relax me and bring a great scent to the air..Not to mention that 3 kids and 2 of those graduating and starting college very soon, I need more disposable income.. Who doesn't!!! And why not selling the candles.. They smell awesome!! Burn clean!! and last for hours... So here we go!!!

I started my website, so to those that want to order on their own by all means go ahead... To those that want to have me help them pick out great scents and accessories, then you will have my info.. To those that love to have people over and meet new ones, let me know and I will set up little parties... I will be making new post on some of the new candles and new scents... 

With all the stuff that we are all doing this holiday season, I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a very prosperous New Year.... 



website: www.partylite.biz/sites/infiniteilly

Holiday Season

I wanted to post about the Holiday Season.. For many of us it's a time to share with family and friends and those that we care about.. For others, it's a difficult season because either they are lonely, have lost someone special, or they just don't have anyone to share it with.. This past Thanksgiving I spent it with my extended family.. This year for myself will be difficult.. It will be the first Holiday Season without my best friend, first love, soul mate, etc.. I was fortunate enough to be able to share this past Thanksgiving with his family.. It was difficult not having him there, but we really tried to make the most of it.. We cracked jokes, remembered funny stuff that he would do.. (like eat my peach cobbler before I was able to set it on the table for dessert.. or take spoonfuls of the mashed potatoes and eat them while we are cooking and not waiting for the others).. Memories like that are difficult to forget.. I'm blessed that I am able to have them and look back and be able to laugh about it.. Yes I do miss him and the fun times that we had.. I do accept that he's in a better place... 

Holiday's are a time to remember the good times and not dwell on the bad.. It's a time to trim the tree (or no tree like at my house), make cookies instead of buying expensive gifts, share with the kids showing them the true meaning of Christmas.. Make new memories, remember the old ones and cherish them deeply.. Help those in need.. Even though you might be the one in need.. Helping others sometimes heals you also.. For some the Holidays are depressing.. If you should feel that way, stop think about what you have and how you are blessed.. Yes, it's hard.. It's not easy, but you aren't as bad as you might think.. We all go through dark periods in our life... Talk to people that really listen.. Write down your feelings, listen to music, look at the sky during the day and at night.. Dwell on the good and not the bad... Think positive thoughts and cry if need be, yell if it makes you feel better.. and let it out!!! Then tell yourself that I'm grateful for who I am and what I have... 

This Holiday Season for me will be definitely different.. The gifts will be all homemade cookies and breads.. No Tree, No decorations outside.. (not to say that I wouldn't love to have them, just can't afford them).. So, I'm teaching the kids that you can celebrate without having all the commercialized stuff.. They are assisting in the baking and the packing.. Making our own Christmas cards by taking pics of ourselves with my camera and developing the pictures..  Yes, it's minimal, but it will do... 

My wish to all is for a great Holiday Season... May you be blessed and may all your dreams come true.. Hope to hear from all of you... 

Merry Christmas

Turning the Page

Hey Everyone... So today's blog is about "turning the page".... We all go through it.. Some more than others, but in the end we all end up "turning the page".... This week is going to be a big page turner for me... I guess after all the eye opening experiences that I have been having lately, it's time to "turn the page"... This week I have to undergo some surgery... Nothing fun... At my last mammogram, they found something "new".. Don't we all just love that stuff... "Something new" Oh Joy!!! I love finding something new.. It's like a new scavenger hunt.... Six months ago, I told the ever so nice radiologist to please just clean up my breast like a pumpkin.. She laughed... I said to her, "I don't wanna go through this again".. She looked at me and just sighed.. Six months into the present and here we are again.. But now with "something new"... Well with that said, I'm "turning the page"...

Many of you are wondering "what the heck is she talking about"??? It's easy.... You know as well as I do, that when the chips are down, many leave your life... I don't care if it's family, friends, acquaintances, etc... So, it's time to turn the page and live for ME!!!! Yes I said it.... ME!!!!! How liberating... There hasn't been a ME in over 20 YEARS.... So this shall be "new and exciting".... I know that sometimes we try and turn the page and we go back to the same page we were just on.. Not this time!!! Make a change!! Go forward!!! TURN THE PAGE!!!! It's time to do it... Get that Gumption that you have buried deep-deep inside and go.... No looking back, just moving forward... Sometimes, we want things to be a specific way and they aren't going to be that way... We need to let go and turn the page... It's heartbreaking thinking that you are going to go through the hardest parts of your life alone.. But in all sincerity if people are only there for the "good parts of you" and then they disappear when the "bad parts" come... Then they weren't really there for you to begin with...

Disappointments and Despair are all the hardest things to deal with.. This is why I am implementing "TURNING THE PAGE"... When you turn the page, you start new.. There is nothing there already written, nor said, much less anything to follow.. You are the Master of your new Destiny... Destiny/Future is all we have to live for... When we realize that, then we realize that turning the page is the best thing for us to do.. I've met plenty of people in my lifetime that have all told me the same thing... "How come when the chips are down, not many are there to help you pick them up"?? I answer the same thing all the time.. "They were never there to help you to begin with"...

I hope that with this post, I'm able to help some of you and hopefully all of you... WE are in this TOGETHER... I hope to see many new Page Turners during the next couple of months... I will keep you all posted on how I'm doing... and I'm sure there will be many more blogs on "something new".... Until then... Be safe, be kind, love and be loved... xxoo

Disappointments

Disappointments, we all go through them... Some of them are harder to deal with than others.. At first we go through the wave of emotions and trying to figure out what was not learned, done wrong, or just not thought off... Once we realize that it is what it is, we just need to move on... For me after six weeks of studying and going to class and passing all the exams and finals I'm guessing wasn't enough to pass the State Exam.. Even though I know that a lot of people don't pass it on the first try, I tend to be a lot harder on myself.. Of course, I know that I can take it again and again until I pass..That's not this point.. The point is that after all that work, that State Exam is a killer!!!

We all go through disappointments, and some of us deal with them a lot better than others.. Some people that I have spoken to, tell me that sometimes the disappointments take months to get over... It's so hard to see how hard you worked towards something and then it doesn't come to fruition.. Sadness come to play and so does defeat.. At which time you need to dust yourself off and come to grips and try again.. As hard as that may seem, and you probably don't see it at that moment.. As the days go by and clarity sets in, you are able to see things objectively and take a stand to go through it again and again until you master it..

My aunt said it best, "it's like a fighter preparing for a fight. You practiced, prepared, you fought, you lost, now get up and get stronger and fight harder and you will WIN!!!!! I totally believe it.. So here goes nothing.. I will take a couple of days off.. Rest the brain and body and try again...

In life nothing ventured... Nothing gained...

Made me Think...

Yesterday, as I was driving home, I saw a man with a sign on the street corner.. I know that wherever we live there are more and more people on street corners asking for money... With the economy the way that it is, it's incredible that we haven't thought of a way to help our own country out.. This one in particular really hit home.. His sign said "Unemployed Teacher trying to sell my flowers to feed my family".. This gentleman was dressed in his grey pants and a white shirt.. It had been raining all day, so I wonder how many times we got soaked today??? I looked at the flowers, and you could tell that they were picked from someones garden.. They weren't the usual roses that people are selling.. and his container was a milk jug cut in the middle to hold the flowers and the change that he would collect.. I was looking in my wallet for money... I never seem to have any, since we live in a "debit card" society... I found a single dollar and I just gave it to him.. He immediately tried to give me a flower.. I didn't want a flower.. Hell if I could get him a job I would have.. The part that hit me, was the fact that any day this could be me.. With a sign that says "single mom trying to feed my family"...  All of a sudden I started to cry, and my son was in the car with me.. He didn't understand why I was so emotional..

I explained to him that we never know when it could be our turn to be there asking for money.. We go through life thinking that this could never be us... Looking at the people on the streets trying to get by... I explained to my son that my job is not promised.. That we need to be humble and not take for granted what we have... That we should be thankful that for now this isn't me and that we need to help our fellow neighbors out... My kids and I have never had money, so we don't know what it is to have whatever we want when we want it.. I have always had to play monopoly with my bills and try and make ends meet.. I do realize that no matter what, we need to be thankful for the little that we have.. and never feel "entitled" to anything.. I wished that as a country we would try and help each other out more..

Yes it's hard and sometimes we just don't want to have to deal with the issues, but at the end of the day we are all in the same boat.. There is no longer a "high, middle and low class".. There is only "high and low"... If your fortunate enough to have financial freedom then that's great.. For the rest of us, that are sitting here day after day wondering where we are going to get the money to pay rent, gas, food or the basic essentials it's never going to be the same.. I wish that we could help ourselves before going to help other countries in need.. What happened to making sure that our families don't go to sleep hungry or in their cars?? What happened to making sure that kids are healthy, that the parents are healthy and that there is help for those that need it?? I apologize if I'm getting political, but seriously we need to help each other out... Especially before we help others.. Why is it that we are continuously sending aid to others countries and we are struggling here??? Is it not as important to make sure our families aren't sleeping at the Walmart parking lot because one or both parents lost their job??? What is it going to take to get us to realize that we need to help ourselves first and make us a strong country.. I don't care what your political platform is, we all know or have seen someone that is struggling.. It could even be us.. Are we really so blind that we rather just chuck it up to the "oh well its someone elses fault" and wait for someone else to fix it?? Why aren't we taking a stand and finding ways to help others???

Look around and take notice.. Look at the kids that are suffering, the parents that are at their wits end, the older people that are left alone.. This isn't going to get any better unless we take a stand.. I know that many promises have been made and many few have been kept.. It doesn't matter whom you want to win or loose.. We are all loosing ourselves by letting others go without... I hope that with this particular blog it makes you think..  and hopefully, we can figure out where and how we can make a difference...

Falling Asleep

Hey Gang:  

Is it just me, or are we all falling asleep around 2pm??? I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one that can't stay awake between the hours of 2pm & 5pm.... It's really bad... I was thinking that maybe it's because of all the stuff that I am juggling on my plate.. But this is ridiculous!!! I find myself falling asleep as I drive.... Or my eyes closing as I'm driving... What can be done??? Is this some sort of ailment??? Or just sleep deprivation??? I wonder how many of us are going through this at the same time??? It's a horrible feeling.. I just want to take a nap.. I can't just do those so called "power naps"... I need about 2 hours... LMAO.. On the days that I don't have school I try to be in bed by 9pm.. (yes, I know it's early) but my wake up is at 5am... Which thinking about it, it's for the birds.. I dislike getting up so early.. But, it has to be done...

I know that people think that I'm nuts, but I need more sleep.. Is that even possible??? My main concern right now, is what can I do to stay awake??? Some of my friends told me to drink coffee, or red bull.. hahahah.. They don't do a thing.. I sleep even better when I take them... So, I guess that my tolerance level to caffeine has become so great that nothing keeps me up... I hope that some of you are in my same boat and that you can help me out with ideas on how to stay awake..  I wonder if I should try the 5 hour energy drink??

So if like me you are falling asleep from 2pm-5pm, let me know.. Maybe we can get some kind of ideas on how to stay awake...  

Have a great weekend out there.... :)

The Nitty Gritty

It's time to get down to the "nitty gritty"... I was thinking about this today and I'm going to blog about it... The Nitty Gritty..

 How difficult is it to get over our fears??? Why do we always have to be the strong one all the time?? How bad do we really feel when our confidence levels drop??? Is it easier to give up or not try so that we don't fail??? All of us go through these thoughts and many more all the time.. It's time to take off our masks and stop hiding.. Face our "nitty gritty" once and for all..

 In my life, especially now approaching week 3 of my new journey, I am feeling a little low in the confidence area.. I know that I have come this far and there is much more to go and I can't keep feeling scared about stuff that is hard for me to learn.. We all go through that... One way or another.. For me it's so frustrating to sit in class and not be able to understand how to figure a problem out.. the frustration turns into anger and you feel that you aren't good enough.. Then you start having doubts in yourself and you loose your confidence.. I know how all of that feels... I am going through it right now... I'm scared of failing, I have so much riding on this.. I can't see myself sacrificing so much to in the end fail.. After my class last night my sense of confidence went down the drain.. I guess because my (math) skills in problem solving has never been my strong suit.. I know that I need to reposition my thinking and think positive.. It's just really hard...

I know that I'm not alone in this.. Many of you out there are not facing your "nitty gritty"... You need to!!! This is the only way that your are going to see what you are made off... It's hard, and trust me you feel all alone in this journey.. The only consolation is that there are others out there just like you and me that are going through the same thing.. They just don't want to admit it.. So, they wear the mask... Facing our fears is not an easy task.. I wish that life were a lot easier than what it actually is..

Take a moment and see what's your Nitty Gritty?? Figure out if you are hiding behind something in order not to have to deal with stuff.. I can't wait to hear any stories that you guys have...

9/11

Today 9/11/12 is a day that will never be forgotten..  11 years ago on 9/11/01 our lives changed completely.. We have become a country that is stronger today because of what happened yesterday.. Today, we will see tributes to all those that gave their lives and that helped others.. Those selfless people that went into the burning buldings to try and help those in need.. Those people that were stranded on the higher floors stuck with nowhere to go and they were just there trying to keep each other strong... One can never ever even imgaine what they went through or what they said to each other... I wouldn't want to have that kind of heaviness of not knowing what my loved one was going thru.. My prayers have always been with the loved ones in NY, DC & PA... We will never be the same, but we have become stronger than ever before. I hope that we all could take a moment and remember this day for the rest of our lives.. My life has changed... I take the time to let others in my life know how much they mean to me..

Cell Phone Drama

So, most of your have had some sort of cell phone dilemma or drama as I like to call it... Mine is one for the books.... My cell as most of you know was in a lil accident... So, (since i have one of those un-fixable screens) & no I didn't purchase the insurance on it... I decided to buy a refurbished one via Ebay... First time ordering and I am happy that I could actually afford a phone.. Since we all know that trying to get a cell phone now a days is like making a car payment... Especially, if you aren't anywhere close to your upgrade date... So, I ordered a different kind of DROID bc I could afford it... So, after practically two weeks without a phone it comes in the mail... YIPPY!!! totally excited.. I can't wait to start it up... Well, I followed all my instructions through my cell carrier and then after it transfers all your info it tells you to power your phone up so that you can finish the programming... I went to do that and my phone wouldn't turn on.. Hmmm I wondered why?? So, I plugged it into the charger that it came with and yay it started... Love that "DROID Sound" that it makes...lol... But wait.. it's off again.. What the heck!!! So, i took out the battery and placed it back in and plugged it in again.. NOTHING!!!! what... all my info is in this phone and I can't work it....DAMMM...

 I drove to my cell companies store and asked the clerk if he could help me... So, he was nice enough to try and put another battery in it (which I paid for) and abracadabra it worked.. Until i got into the car... It's off again.... Off I go back into the store and the clerk tells me "it could be the connection port"... Oh NO!! what the heck is that???? Well, it's what registers the battery and charges up the phone... Great so now what.. all my info is in this new phone and its not working!!! So, the clerk advises me to send it back to the seller and ask for a refund... Here we go another who knows how many weeks without a phone... Aggrrrr... I get home, and try to change my phone info again, but I'm worried that some other info is still in this new phone... Just my luck.. I also email the seller and I'm waiting to hear back from them... I want a phone.. One that works, and that I can use... Is this too hard to ask???? Geez... I'm hoping that come Monday morning I can get some sort of resolution on this... Being without a phone is no fun....

I guess I wonder, if ordering from Ebay or Amazon is bad??? I've never had issues with products (even though my orders are all books), but I guess that there is always a first time... Well, to all of you out there that have had something similar happen.. I totally feel your pain right now...

R U READY 4 SOME FOOTBALL

So, a lot of you that know me, know that I'm all about "football"... Yes I know that the season starts tonight and we have the Cowboys v Giants... That will be a great opening game... But, I must admit I can't wait til Sunday when my team plays.. All of you that know me know that Green Bay Packers have always been my team... So I am hoping that they deliver a great game against the SF49's.... I will definitely be watching that game.. WITH NO INTERRUPTIONS!!!

 I do miss the opening anthem that they used to play on ABC "Are you ready for some football"...(sang by Hank Williams) That song, definitely made the evening.. Accompanied by the Monday Night Football Theme... This year will be a great year in football, as it is every year... Hopefully, my team will make it all the way to the end.. and not choke... I can't wait to see how the Jets do this year with Teabow and Sanchez... So with that said.... Let the GAMES BEGIN... Can't wait to see how the rest of the season unravels...

ARE U READY!!!!!! CUZ I AM.......

New Journey

If being a single mom isn't hard enough, I have taken upon more responsibility... I decided to go back to school... Yes, I know what everyone is going to say.... "Are you crazy"!!! Maybe.... I know that I already have enough diplomas that adorn the walls, I just wanted one more.... lol... I have to admit that my 17 hour days 3 days a week is really taking a toll on me... It's incredible how much you miss your bed, your quiet time, your gym time and all the other stuff that I used to do... You can't imagine how much I'm beginning to hate the 5am wake up calls.... But in the end, I know that once I pass my "state exam" I will be able to give my kids and myself the life that I have always wanted... That's if I make it!!!!!

New Journey's are exciting and at the same time confusing and scary... Sometimes, you wonder if you still have it in you to keep on going pass 8pm... lol.. I know that I'm a walking zombie 2 days out of the week and on the weekend, I'm dying for a nap...lol... Why do I have to always be the overachiever????  Why do I always want more??? Why can't I just stay plain me??? Well, I guess that GOD instilled in me the microchip of keep on moving forward... As one of my family members used to say, "you can't be stuck in a deserted island, because you will be rearranging the coconut trees".. It's true.. I can't stay still or just do nothing for long periods of time..

My professor told us that for the next couple of months, I will have no social life!!! He wasn't kidding.. This man wants me to read for chapters over the weekends... I'm so tired, that I start and I end up falling asleep on my books... That is not good... I need to make more of an effort to stay awake.. Hopefully, I can muster up the strength...

Because of this new journey, I will have a little less time to write the blog.. Don't worry, I will sneak sometime to do them... I enjoy writing them, and seeing the comments that some of you leave... I will let you all know how it's going and when I pass my state exam..... We shall all celebrate....

Technology

Imagine going through your day without being able to text, skype, email, bbm, facebook, instagram, twitter etc etc... It's hard to believe how dependent we have become to the above mentioned items in our life... Last night, I was in a slight fender bender when my phone (that was on my lap) fell to the side of my seat right on the edge of the door.. Being that it was dark I couldn't see it.. When I went to open the door it fell face first to the ground.. So there goes my Droid!! I can't operate it at all.. What a helpless feeling... Thankfully nothing happened to my car or me.. Just the phones screen was all cracked..

Which lead me to this new post... How dependent are we on technology???  I have no idea anyone's number anymore... I can't remember what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing if my phone doesn't alert me... It's incredible how dependent we are... We sit there and talk, text, email, and we can't remember anyones number!! I personally had to go thru Facebook to alert everyone that I will be without a phone until further notice.. Because I couldn't call anyone and much less do I remember their numbers...

I remember back in the day (when he had beepers) we knew everyone's number... What happened to us??? I think that the only number that I know is my work one... Because I need to know it... Needless to say, I know that I myself am a PHONE HOG... I need it, can't live without it and it sucks.... Thankfully, I was able to log in thru my laptop and email everyone that I don't have a phone...Oh and get some awesome friend to be my human wake up call, because my phone is also my alarm!! It's impossible to imagine driving, going to school, at work, at home without being connected...

I am hoping that being without a phone until mine either gets fixed or I have to purchase a new one, teaches me not to be so dependent on it.. This will be a true test of how I can try to survive on not having to be on my phone 24/7..

Convinience

How easy is it to be next to someone just for the mere fact that they can help you get somewhere?? Have you ever stopped to wonder why you are really with someone?? Is it because of who they are socially or where they work, or who they hang out with?? I've realized that sometimes people hang around you to see what you can do for them.. At the minute that you can't put them where they want to be or you just figure it out they get upset with you... I think that we need to accept people for who they are, and not for what they can get us...

How shallow are we becoming??? Can we not do things on our own?? Make our own name and be proud of it!! I guess that living the simple life (because I've had to), has made me realize that I don't want to be with "Convenient People"... They are just for the now.. Not for the future... It's easy to get all wrapped up in it and see that you are getting to where you want to be.. But at what cost?? Are people with you, just because you can help them get ahead?? Or are you with them for the same reason?? So ask yourself, what are you?? Are you someone that has made it on their own, through struggle, hardship, tears etc.. Or are you just getting with the first person that can get you to where you want to be??

It's an awesome feeling, when someone gets to know the real you... When they accept you for all that you are and what you can bring to the table.. Not the pretentious person that is just there because they have something to gain.. It's hard to be different and to be unique. It's easier to be just like everyone else. If your with me, I hope that it's not of "convenience".. I hope that it's because there is something deeper...

Honesty

I remember the lyrics to Billy Joel's "honesty"... Everytime I hear it, it makes me feel differently.. Why is it so hard for us to be honest??? I know that we all go thru our ups and downs and that sometimes being honest is difficult.. We don't wanna hurt others with the truth and we don't want to accept the truth ourselves.. Being honest is a difficult thing to do.. I wish that we learn that even though the truth hurts it's the best policy for everyone... Sometimes, we get hurt and we tend to not say how we feel or how hurt we really are... We make a conscience decision to not say a word... Even that is not being honest... You aren't being honest with yourself on how you feel or how someone made you feel... It's difficult to sit there and vent... But once you do, the other person understands and should accept your honesty... In a way we all feel better once we have been honest.. Is it easier to lie?? Or course it is... Is it the right thing to do??? NO!! Do we do it anyway??? Of course... None of us want to say the truth if we know that it would hurt someone... What is worse, is if the person that you are lying to actually finds out the truth... I guess I rather be truthful and unhappy, than happy and lied too... Even in friendships, some people rather keep the truth to themselves in reference to how they feel about certain subjects than to hash things out... At the end of the day, if you can't be honest with yourself you can never be honest with others..

Mixed Signals

I was approached by one of my friends with a new subject.. Mixed signals... I was trying to understand what was meant by it, and I came up with this new spin on things... So, let's say that we start talking to someone... That person is really nice and we start sharing more time with them.. While you are spending time with them, you feel a certain way with them.. It's all positive, but there is always something inside you saying is this really true or is there a hidden agenda?? Why is it that we always have these feelings?? Why can't we just be free from the wondering?? Why don't we fall in love anymore?? Is it because we have been hurt so many times that we just can't for once believe!!! We all have felt that way...

 We want so badly to throw caution to the wind and we just can't.... It's horrible... We should be able too.. Why can't we!!?? That imaginary magnet that keeps us from letting our heart rule our mind.. The one that tells us not to jump into anything too fast.. When all that we want to do is be free to enjoy every single emotion... We send mixed signals to ourselves on a daily basis... We should be able to express and feel the way that we want to feel.. Stop holding back, stop the trying not to show how we feel... I know the old saying "you can't show everything, because then there is nothing to look forward too"... But what happens when you feel so great with this person and you don't care!!! You just want to be with that person and share time and memories with them... Is that so bad????

The other part to this is, the person that you like and want to spend time with is giving you mixed signals. You sit there and wonder if they feel the same way that you do... What if they do!!! You are both not moving forward because your afraid of what may happen... Mixed signals are confusing... Sometimes we have a moment in time, where we feel that all this makes sense.. we need to act on it... You never get moments in time back.. Once they are gone, they are gone.. So, either you act on it or its never gonna happen at the same place in time ever again...

In the end, I think that I rather live with a broken heart (again) than to go thru life not seizing the moments. It's hard to not send mixed signals.. With a lot of work and realizing that you only live once, it's totally worth it...

PDA (public display of affection)

I was seriously thinking about this subject... I guess a little bit more now than before... I have come to the realization that a lot of us don't show public displays of affection or PDA to those that we love.. I look at my surroundings and see people texting instead of holding hands, kissing, hugging, looking into each others eyes, etc.. What happened to being close to the person that you are in love with or care for?? Is it wrong to hug, kiss, hold hands in public?? What are we afraid of?? Are we that worried about what others will say or think?? In all honesty, who cares!!! This world needs more PDA!! If we took the time to show more affection, maybe relationships would last longer..

It bothers me that we just sit there and not show any affection... We start relationships with no intent on showing our feelings.. Is that even possible?? Call me old school... But I totally love to feel that human touch!! It's so important.. When you have a bad day, and you can share that with someone, they can hug you or let you cry on their shoulder it's so worth it..... When you are able to be yourself and show how you feel in public to the person that you are with, it makes them feel important.. At the same time, you feel great... When all your affection is reciprocated, it's the best feeling in the world... I try as much as I can to show affection.. Even if it's in the smallest way... It make a world of difference to the people in your life...

 To have PDA, you just can't wish for it to happen.. You need to make a conscience effort...You will see how those around you will feel loved and cared about.. It's great to see people showing affection.. Everyone needs to know and feel loved... If not, they don't know that you truly care.. So, put the phones down and actually look into their eyes, hold their hand, and make sure that they know how you truly feel... Let's all have a great month of awesome PDA.....

Respect

Respect is something that is earned and not just given.. That type of reasoning  has been instilled in us since the dawn of time. There are many instances where respect is earned.. It can be with your children, your family, your job, your friends/acquaintances and many others. Sometimes, people disrespect us whether they are speaking to us or acting in a certain manner. If you feel that disrespecting people is correct, then you must be lacking something in your life...

When we were kids, our parents taught us to respect our elders.. We would look at them like they are crazy... They were trying to teach us that we need to respect those that are older and know a lot more than we ever would.. We also teach our kids to respect those that have authority.. Unfortunately, now a days, all that has gone down the wayside.. Kids as well as adults disrespect others like it's going out of style.. I sometimes wonder where did we learn that we should act that way... It's a difficult world that we live in and it's even harder when we realize that we have lost respect for a lot of people...

Sometimes, the situations that we are in make it difficult to respect others.. We really need to make a conscience effort to break that trend.. We need to respect others, the same way we like to be respected. If you feel that you have been disrespected, you need to take a minute, get some composure and remember that maybe that person is ignorant.. That is why they feel that they need to disrespect you.. Respect is the most important thing that you can give someone..

Taking Chances

In life we are all take chances.. Whether it's financial, physical, emotional or spiritual its all a chance. Chances are that some of those chances are frightening to say the least. As we get older we see ourselves in some situations that we wished we knew what road or what "chance" to take. Taking a chance is leaving yourself open to new experiences, new heartache, even new failures.

So we ask ourselves, are we willing to go thru all that in hopes to accomplish some sort of goal??? Maybe and maybe not.. It all depends on how strong we are and how bad we want something.. Taking a chance is a huge step in changing the course of your life..  When your life is going one way and you have become comfortable with it, it's difficult to take that chance. Many people have told me that they aren't willing to change the course of their life. Even if it meant doing something bigger and better. I guess that taking chances is the only way to know what you are made off, what you are willing to accomplish and how you want to  see yourself.. 

Everyday we take a chance.. We decide to do something new and improved that changes us for the better. If we don't take a chance, we live a stagnated life that is all the same.. Unfortunately, many of us choose this type of life. Some of us, choose to take a chance and make a change. It's up to you.. Only you can be the writter of your destiny... It only takes one chance to make a world of difference.

Being Fake...

It has occurred to me, that we go thru life being "fake".. It can be at work, with friends, or even with people that we don't even know.. Why??? Are we that unhappy with ourselves that we have to be "fake" with others??? Or are we trying to be someone that we aren't in order to feel accepted into a specific group?? I've seen to many people "kissing butt" to get what they want.. Then after they are done kissing it, they revert back to the same people they were. So, have you always been "fake" or are you just "fake" for convenience??

 This subject is very difficult to write about, especially because it deals with the way that people are.. The way I see it, don't pretend to be who you aren't.. Just be yourself.. Get to where you need to go or be on your own merit.. If you don't have what it takes, then empower yourself with the knowledge that you need.. But going around kissing butt, just to get you further than you can go on your own, is not good.. People do notice what you do and how you do things..

Self acceptance is key.. If you can't be happy with your own self, don't expect anyone else to be.. If you need to go thru life being "fake", there is definitely an issue that you need to deal with.

The Busy Life..

 Have we realized that more and more we are to busy for our friends and family!!!.. How many times have we stopped calling people and we just text, email, facebook or even just instagram others??!!! When was the last time that you actually took the time and spent time with someone that you lost contact with?? I sometimes see myself texting more than actually speaking or seeing people.. I know that it's so much easier to text than to actually call or write or even go and see...

I have come to the point in my life that I do a "spring cleaning" of my phone contacts, facebook contacts, email contacts etc.. Sometimes, I have names and numbers that I have no clue who the people are and when was the last time that I actually spoke to them. We all lead a busy life, and we have such short amounts of time that taking the time to see others is virtually impossible.. Not to mention that in this electronic day and age that we live in, its so much easier to just text than to sit there and have a whole conversation...  I remember when my cell phone didn't have a Qwerty keyboard, and i had to press all the numbers just to be able to text.. I would give up and call the person.. Now that I have a Droid, forget calling.. I can swype, type, dictate, so why call!!

The point is this.. We go thru life thinking that there is always tomorrow and that we will be able to contact people in our life.. We are not promised tomorrow.. So, let's make it a point to actually go and see people and call them to hear their voice and not just text..

Are we Happy???

I attended the open house at my son's upcoming University and they asked this question.. "If you had the choice to study what you like and be happy would you"?? That question really hit home.. How many times have we chosen a job or schooling and done it not because we loved it or it made us happy, but because we had to??? Yes, I chose to start my family early and maybe I graduated with a degree so that I could attain a better job.  All that was done because that is how we have been conditioned to do things.. but I'm not happy... I know that I would be happier doing the things that I love..

 I questioned this and came to this conclusion.. We get jobs that are just that.. Jobs.. They don't excite us, motivate us or bring us happiness.. It just pays the bills... We do it because we have responsibilities and it's the right thing to do... Not because we are geniunley happy.. There is a small anount of people that are truly excited about getting up in the morning and going to work.. That small percentage is not the norm.. The rest of us, dread having to wake up on Monday and drive to that office and deal with those people..

 I understood what the speaker was talking about.. We live in a society that we need to have stuff... The new car, the bigger house, the private school education, the clothes, the shoes, etc etc.. So, we go day by day to a place that lets us have that status symbol but in the end we still aren't happy.. Looking at the life that we presently live, how would you answer these questions. Would you take a chance and do what you love?? Would you give up not having all the material stuff?? Would you work towards your happiness??? Would you care what people thought about your decision???

Take a chance and make a difference in your life.. In the end your happiness is what matters.... I am convinced that I need to do what makes me happy... At the end of the day, no one is going to make you happy but yourself...  

Funny How Life Changes

On a daily basis our life changes. One minute we are thinking and doing one thing and then all of a sudden we are doing something different. I call it the "roller coaster"... How many times have we sat there and made all these plans and gotten all our stuff together and BAM!! it all changes.. It may be a job, a relationship, going back to school, trying to make it in the music business, buying something new, etc.. We make all these plans and for what!!! It's funny how sometimes we try and look at the "end result".. We fantasize on it, we imagine how happy we are going to be, we can literally see ourselves in that new change.. Then all of a sudden something or someone burst that bubble... The hardest part is trying to figure out why?? Why did it have to change?? Why aren't I as happy as I was?? What is life trying to tell me??? What did I do wrong??? All these questions are hard to answer at that point in time.. We need to let go and see the bigger picture.. It's hard sometimes to see the bigger picture, because we had our heart set on something else.

My best friend is an awesome singer... He has trained classically and when he sings, your feel the passion and emotion.. Enough to say that you get goosebumps... I have had the pleasure of seeing him sing live.. I tell you that I have never heard anything like it... His life has drastically changed in many ways.. Sometimes, you have to go thru a lot in order to get to what your future is going to bring you.. It's hard to accept that life throws you curve balls, it tests you, it brings you to your knees, and make you feel like you are the most insignificant person out there.. Aside from all of that, he continues to persevere and push forward.. No matter what... It's so impressive and I'm so proud of him to keep trying.. I know that when life has given him lemons; he has made great lemonade...

Life has changed for a lot of us.. We are different because life has made us different.. We view things differently, we are more cautious than others.. I hear people say, "throw caution to the wind"!!! We would love nothing more.. We all have big plans, goals, and things that we want to achieve.. When life changes and it's not what you had visioned or planned, just try to rise above it and look at the bigger picture.. No matter how hard that may be.. If not, we become stagnated and that isn't the way life should be lived..

Life's Baggage

Life's Baggage....  This is something that most of us have, a lot of us try to hide and some of us try not to judge others with.. We all come with baggage.. It takes many forms in our life... I myself have a couple of bags.. I do realize that when we meet others and share our baggage it sometimes takes over the new journey that we are going on..

In speaking with others, you come to realize that baggage has ended relationships, given you a different outlook on someone and even made others re-think wanting to start something because of the baggage.. Our baggage is what makes us unique and special.. When you think about it, it's kinda like a "life badge".. You have lived life, and life has happened, and you get the baggage.. Anyone who doesn't have any, in my book is weird..

Let's talk about the types of baggage.. Many of us have emotional, physical, mental, spiritual & lets not forget the most important one of all "the kids" baggage.. In all of these there are types that can be dealt with and others that you just wanna leave alone. In our journey thru life, I'm sure that we have met people that have one or many bags... The issue here is how to deal with it and how not to let it bring you down or make you feel less than anyone else...

My baggage is my kids.. Many people have treated me differently because of the fact that in my life my kids come first.. I know that maybe that way of thinking is what has kept a lot of people out of my life.. On the other hand, that kind of thinking has made me realize that the ones that are truly special in your life, admire you for being that way.. I love my baggage and yes it's hard for me to accept others that have way more baggage than I do..

Baggage is baggage and will always be that until we die... We should work with our baggage and not let it overpower our life.. As long as we acknowledge that we have it, it doesn't make us different.. It reminds us that we have lived and that life happens and we should never take it for granted.

First Impressions

First Impressions are deemed the most important view out there. I started thinking about first impressions since my son will be having his first University interview... Having a great first impression might be the one thing that gives you that opportunity that others might be seeking. In speaking with my good friend Ashley, first impressions can make or break you...

 Let's think about it.. Say you are going to your College/University Interview, you are not the only candidate out there. The first impression that the interview board gets of you might be the saving grace that is needed. How about that job interview. Hey times are tough, and you need an edge... Sure there is the fact that hopefully your are better qualified than your constituents and maybe you have some life experience but nonetheless you need the edge.. Now let's say that you are lacking in a certain area.. Let's say that you don't have the "right qualifications", you might just get the job if you make a great First Impression..

We all have some sort of individuality that separates us from the others.. It can be a tattoo, piercing, long hair, gold grill, accents, you name it we all have something... Unfortunately in trying to make the best first impression we need to be able to put all that stuff away, or as much as possible so that we aren't judged wrongly. I know that it's hard.. and sometimes we say "who cares!! if they want to give me the job, they need to accept me for who I am".. Yes, that might work in some places but in others it doesn't. Sometimes, the interview panel sees you as a reflection of how others will see their company.. It might not be what they are looking for.. So why loose something really great, just because you don't want to give the best first impression???

I've known people to go to a job interview and loose a great job because of the first impression that the company got.. It's a horrible feeling to be qualified or have the life experience and because of how people see you they judge you... Others I know will actually wait until the people they are interviewing with tell them something about either a tattoo or the way that they dress... Don't wait for someone to tell you, you need to make the change before its noticed.. You never know what you can loose because you wait for others to tell you...

First Impressions are important.. Don't loose out on a great opportunity, just because you didn't want to make a slight change...

Where did Relationship's go??

The other day, I was having lunch with my aunt... Very good looking woman for her age and very funny... We decided to go and see Magic Mike & have a light dinner afterwards... Had a great time with my aunt... While at dinner we were talking about how complicated dating life has become. Its' funny we are about 10 years apart and we both seem to have the same dating issues.. It seems that at this day and age people are only looking to "hook up" (in other words booty calls).. What ever happened to the times where you wanted to get to know someone and actually be in a relationship?? Does that even exist anymore???

Case in point... We were approached by a pretty decent looking man, and he started conversation.. (why do I always have to try and see what people's angles are??) He started to boast about what he did and where he lives and how he lives life and what he is looking for... HUH!!! I definitely felt like he was handing in a verbal resume... So, my dear aunt (being so nice) starts to nod her head and smile politely.. I on the other hand seize the opportunity at hand.. (hey if your going to give out your info I hope you have enough to back it up with).. So, in true illy fashion, I started to dig a little deeper into his resume... I asked him specific questions.. It's funny how people start off with good "game" and end up with nothing to say.. It was obvious that he was making up stuff... After a while, I dissected his job, his residence and came up with the notion that he was trying to impress two women that have their own lives and are not easily impressed.

He then blurted out, the ever so impressive phrase of "well what I'm looking for is to hook up"!!! I almost fell of my chair and spit my drink out when he actually spoke those words. Seriously!!! Is this the best that you can offer???? WOW.. Ok, so let me get this straight... You are in your late 50's, with a made up job, live in an efficiency that isn't depicted of what you say you do for a living and your looking for a hook up???  AMAZED... I guess that I was expecting that in your late 50's (if your single) that you are looking for someone to share the "golden years" with.. You have worked hard, you helped your kids out,  maybe your a grandparent, and you want that special someone to share your life with.. What I seriously was not expecting was the "I just want a hook up line"!!! 

I do know one thing.. If I'm still single in my late 50's and I haven't found my someone special that I want to share my life with, then I will stay single.. Never in my wildest dreams would I say to someone "hey you wanna hook up"?? What is that??? It goes to show the sign of the times... I rather enjoy life and be single than to be that desperate to tell people that I'm just looking for a hook up.. That totally shows that you have nothing to really offer and that at your age you still haven't grown up....

So the question still is out there... Why don't people want relationships?? Why are people in their late 50's asking for hook up's?? What happened to sharing your life with someone and not just casual sex??

Helping Others

Helping Others.....

In life we are put in other peoples way for a reason... It is a great honor to be able to help others... We are always helping others; either by listening, acting, or just plain being there for them. I know that sometimes we sit there and wonder, "why did this person come into my life"?? Maybe, they were sent to help us in some sort of way..

I have the honor to help out a family member who is close and very dear to me.. They are in need of some good old fashion "unconditional love"...

After careful consideration and lots of mulling it over, my kids and I have decided to pay it forward. We have always helped others in their time of need, so why not now!! Especially with family... We all know that sometimes we need that little something to make us feel better.. We need to feel like we are needed... So as a family, we have decided to share our Jade (our 6 month beagle) with our family member.. Who better to share Jade with!!! She has soooo much love to give and I know that she will take care of them... 

Yes it's sad because Jade is very much loved at our home... Something inside me tells me that this is the right decision.. Paying it forward is super important.. Like I told the kids, "it's not sharing our dog with just anyone" our family member will love her and take care of her as much as we do.. Not to mention that she stays withing the family and she's helping someone thru a tough time. It's hard to accept sometimes, but we need to help others.. Even though we are sad, we are bringing light into others lives... 


Challenge:  Pay it forward.. Do something for someone.. No matter how big or small.. Bring a ray of sunshine to that person.. It will all come back to you bigger and better...

"What IF"

"What IF"......

How many times have we said those two words??? Those two words that mean so much and can make us have different emotions all the time. I remember talking to my sister in law stacy and saying "why do we always say what if"? Why are we always having some sort of regret?? We were both stumpped on that question..

In my own personal life, this year has been rough.. Thoughts do come to  mind on what I could of done and what was left undone... and there goes the "WHAT IF"... These next five months that are left of the year are going to be different... Changing the way that we think and do things, so that we don't have that many "WHAT IF's"... Is it fair to say that "WHAT IF" is more of a regret???  We all know that we can't be going thru life regretting stuff. In all realization there are things that I would have done differently ofcourse and things that I would have taken the risk of doing.

My challenge: 

• For the next five months do what makes me happy
• Have less "What IF's"
• Stop looking back and wondering
• Move forward and with conviction stand my ground
• LOVE MYSELF AND MY DECISIONS

I hope that in doing these, a difference will be made in our lives... Have fun and most of all keep reaching for the stars...

Crazy Stuff

 How many times do we go thru our day wondering about the crazy stuff that happens??? It can happen while we are driving, at the supermarket, at the mall, walking the dog, at the gym, at church, basically anywhere... The other day I was on the road driving and this guy was in his car with one of those nose hair clippers trimming!!! Seriously, you didn't have enough time to do that when you were home?? Why while stuck in traffic do you think that it's the right time to do that... I had to shake my head and laugh... It was funny...
While at my son's award banquet, this one parent wore a t-shirt (yes a tee) that said "What month is it"??  So, I started laughing... I couldn't believe that you would actually wear that to an awards banquet!!!  What were you thinking?? So, I asked my son, "are we supposed to ask her what month it is"??? He didn't get it or get why I was laughing at this mother... I would think that if your kid is getting an award, you would want your kid to be  proud of you as you are of them.. Not to show up with a tee... Amazing...

Dating Life

This is the second part of "Our Complicated Life".....  Dating...


It has come to my realization that "dating" isn't what it used to be... We have so many options and so many people that are looking but not really sure what they want.. For many of us, dating had become really difficult to add to our daily mix... Since most of us are parents, with jobs, and other responsibilities that trying to date isn't that easy...

Many of us have ventured into the life of the "online dating".. It can become challenging  figuring out what dating site to use, how to find the right people and don't forget you will have to spend some kind of money to get on and maybe be able to email. T.V. has fed us the line that if we spend on a quality site, we will be able to probably find a better quality person... From my past experience not always the case.. I've tried many of them out there, and for some reason it's really the luck of the draw.. On some dating sites, you need to fill out a questionnaire about all your likes/dislike, what you would actually put up with, and what you are truly looking for.. On others, you just pay and start searching, and on others they are "free" and you get all kinds of wonderful people that are married, or even in a relationship looking for someone.. (that part I have never understood)...

The fact still remains, that "dating" is hard... Getting back into it is a challenge.. How many of us are totally tired of the "meet & greet" at Starbucks?? Seriously, it's more like an exchange of resumes.. Not to mention that we all know what they serve already.. It truly is getting old... It cracks me up, to see some commercials on T.V. where the "blind date" is at this dimly lit restaurant, and it has great atmosphere and the people are having such a great time... Really!!! does that really happen??? I have seen more people at the Starbucks, than at P.F. Chang's for a "blind date"... lol...  I try to spice it up.. I try and say, lets meet for lunch at a restaurant or at a bar for happy hour... I know that in all reality we don't want to spend that much time with someone, especially if they aren't what they said they were on their profile... ( I know a lot of you are remembering that special "blind date").. It's just to make an effort to meet somewhere different... I've even met up at the Wine & Spirits store.. This is a great way to get to see what they like to drink...

Also, in going thru this dating process, I have come to the realization that many people are in the "disposable" era... They aren't really wanting a commitment, more of a "friends with benefits"... That is another reason why dating has become more of a chore than something fun... Some of my friends have totally decided to stay single and just enjoy the single or single parent life... It's sad, because everyone wants to have some sort of companionship.. No one really wants to stay alone forever, but dating in 2012 is no cake walk...

So.... I wanna hear what you think.... Is dating this great thing or has it just become boring??? Do you like to do the exchanging of resumes at Starbucks, or do you try something different??? Hope to hear from some of you....

Parents Venting

This will be one of many blogs that I will be posting in "Our Complicated Life" series.. Feel free to comment, you never know who could really use some help with some of the issues that we are facing...


First part of "Our Complicated Life"....

Why is it that no matter how much we do or say our kids act like nothing in life matters??? Is it the way that we are bringing them up??? Is it that they have so much more than we ever had?? I know that none of us had cell phones, Internet, facebook, ipod's, etc... I remember that if you wanted to speak to someone you actually had to call their house and ask for them.. If they weren't home you needed to wait til they got there.. Or if the line was busy you had to hang up and call back.. Sometimes, it becomes a competition with the TV, computer, ipod etc.. I feel like they aren't listening.. They prefer to tune us out.. Unfortunately, when you speak to them you need to constantly say "did you hear me"!!!!  Why is it that we don't want to become our "parents" and somehow we do???  The constant reminding them, we begin to sound like a tape recorder... lol.. I wonder if I am alone in this or are others going thru the same???  Hopefully, we can laugh at some of the stuff that we go thru as parents...